Thoughts on Franklin: A Colloquial View

Here's something a bit different. I found this on my Blackberry after having written it the morning after a party. No proofreading nor re-reading for that matter. Here it is, in all its unadulterated whatever. Enjoy!

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. -Benj Frank. These were the words spoken by a very intelligent man about the qualities of a decent man, and how he may be able to better himself. Let's take a deeper look into his catch phrase.
This couldn't possibly apply to the process of attending a high school party, for if one followed these directions, I must say, he'd be straight fucked, and not in a good way. Early to bed? Could that equate to being the first to pass out, either by imbibing a bit too much, or literally falling asleep early? Either way, that would make one a complete fagel in the eyes of the general populous. Early to rise? The first one up at a party has the first chance to review the carnage, probably see things he/she didn't want to see, and will probably puke-- all things that you don't want to happen. Makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. Healthy? Eh. Purging your system might make you healthier than you were before, but in all honesty, your liver will still bitch at you. Wealthy? I have no idea how to approach this... Let's take an idea from a friend of mine. Because he had to go to work at 7 and work nearly all day sans breaks, he left early, went to bed early, and definitely rose early. He's making some definite cash though. Wise? People become more wise with more experience, something you probably won't get by keeping the hours prescribed by Franklin. It has been the case that I've never been able to have a lucid dream, so screw any counter arguments in that vein. Staying up, chatting, sleeping late, waking up late, and having coffee or tea with friends in the morning will make you more than these three states Franklin deems so important. It will make you happy.

-Peace(maker).